January 10, 2019
The second half of my bobsled season took a turn that I was really praying it wouldn’t take. I like to be a back-seat driver to God and say, “I think this is best” but Jesus always sees the whole picture and not just what I want in the moment.
Currently I am still on the National Team but unfortunately, I wasn’t one of the 4 brakemen selected to compete with USA 1 and 2 in Europe where I started the season. The coaches thought I would get more ice time and development work sliding with USA 3 in North America. They were right but it wasn’t what I wanted.
Life with Jesus is exciting. But I’ve also learned that life has extremes and it is with Jesus that both can be a place for growth and peace.
When I initially got the call from my coach last month, I cried in the car to my mom’s wedding for about 2 hours straight. I got to the hotel and knew I needed some alone time and to release this to God. He in the end has the final say over everything and if this is part of His plan for me, then it is going to work out for good…eventually.
With tears in my eyes I got on my hands and knees and thanked God because I knew this was part of his plan. I prayed that good things were still going to happen THAT night, and they did. By the end of the night I was jumping around happy and giddy. (I got texts from my pilots when they heard the news).
I share that because I want to encourage you. Even in the heartache moments, if you give it to God, He can still make small moments happen which help remind us that He is in control of the big picture too. He listened to my requests in the moment of heartache, and that helped remind me that even though this is not what I want, it is still in control by Him. It still doesn’t take away the physical heartache, however. My heart physically hurt, and it did for about a week each time I thought of the situation.
I have been reading through my journal I started before the season a lot recently because again, it helps remind me that to enjoy this process. SIDENOTE: I also write down fears I have, release them to God, and trust He will work all things out for good because that is a promise he makes!
Two things that might help in times when fear and uncertainty hit..
“I have a lot of big things coming up and they all require a lot of Gods favor and help. I am in Gods waters right now with nothing certain in my life but I do believe this is the exact place He needs me in.”
- I believe God will put us in situations where everything is unstable to test just how much we will trust Him. Uncertainty doesn’t mean God is absent but it’s more of a test to our faith. (That’s why I pray for the small daily things to help remind me He is still listening!)
Make a fear list AND a prayer list, pray about them, and then release them and watch how God will work. Some of the prayers are answered quickly, and some things I go back and write the answer to years later. But the bottom line is to release it and have peace.
“Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Jesus Christ, God will bless you with peace that no one can complete understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.”
Thanks for joining me on this journey.